Kindness where are you?

Kindness where are you?
I have been looking for you on empty streets
feeling exiled from myself,
feeling I have lost a special friend,
and I have this black hole inside
as I call your name again and again.

Like twins we used to play a lot
and you were my big brother.
You defied those who wanted to bully me.
You were there when I cried and
you picked me up when I fell...
But I lost you along the way.

Perhaps I was holding so tight
my knuckles white with too much force.
It's fear that poisoned our moments
like harsh wind that rapes the flower
from the vine, and now I lost you..
In tatters you drifted
as I tore you with my rage!

But where will I go dear kindness, where?
You were the only home I know
the only reason why I keep trying
and now I am trying, knees deep in mud
clothes soaked with rain...

I will keep looking for you, hoping to find you...
because I am only myself when I'm with you.