People...

It's horrible when one starts to be punitive with oneself when the rest of the world also thinks the same way. I know I totally blew it when I missed out on the company Christmas party because I had total amnesia. So I went to work with this lingering feeling of alienation. I get fed up when someone asks me where where I not there?

I didn't men that to happen but perhaps my psyche wants em to forget because deep down inside I feel that I don't belong there anyway. And for someone in my position you aren't supposed to do that. But then again it is rare for someone to ditch a gathering like that. And I am glad I now know how it feels. If feeling horrible is something you need to be thankful for. Dez is still sore with me. But as a bonus, Tyler and Hannah brought sundae with chocolate syrup inside the conference room-they have one for me. I feigned surprise. But of course I was expecting it. Well nothing is so bad anyway.

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