Prayers For Rain

Rainy season is the time to dress up like Matrix. I remember as a kid I used to run under the rain and play hide and seek. There was a time when kids my age used to run around in our skivvies while we pull along our truck toys with a lease and watch how the wheels create little splashed on the pavement.

I love it when I can just curl up with a book by the window listening to my favorite music. I used to accompany the weather with The Cure, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Cocteau Twins, Dead Can Dance, This Mortal Coil and The Mission- all these 80's dark wave bands that appeal to Goth people.

I don't see myself as goth but I dig stuff loved by Goth guys. The Crow,The Craft, Anne Rice, Clive Barker,Neil Gaiman and Poppy Z Brite. It's the atmosphere...the ethereal ambient that I an drawn to. And of course, there's the black and the silver.

I know I am sounding nostalgic again. But when I look back years and years ago, my concern was solely for the aesthetic. People do get into he equation. But for someone who never really had a 'normal' relationship, my ideas about romance were limited to books, movies and music. I wonder if I will ever be normal. I am in an age where people are supposed to be married with kids...I talk about "impractical stuff". Sometimes I have an image of myself prowling the streets late at night trying to satisfy an insatiable hunger. Now don't get me wrong my dear readers. I am not really into THAT. But it's the way of giving an example how oddball it feels to be me.

When my pessimistic side wins it's interesting. Well, I mean what's the point of enjoying life when we will end up dead one day. This world will end and I am not getting younger.

I know I am feeling like a recluse again. I should have taken Greta Garbo's advice :"I vant to be alone"!